all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
pray to the hookup gods
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
