bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
