somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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