My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
thus making me awesome and them whores
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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