3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
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