Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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