She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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