he thought i was a dude.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
