No awkward lesbian experiences without me
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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