just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
