I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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