Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
