she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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