is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize