If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
