Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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