Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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