Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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