Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
