There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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