More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
