so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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