At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
