She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
