Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
