thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize