well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize