Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
