so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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