1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
