She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You ruined the universe
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
