If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
