Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
