how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
