I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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