If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
