you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
