let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize