I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
