We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
