Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
