Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
