That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize