super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize