respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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