is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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