Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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