he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
