I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
