The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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