He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
