I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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