Christians are straight up FREAKS
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize