are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize