i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
