marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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