A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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