Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
