I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
