what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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