Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
